Recently one of my Facebook Friends posted a link to the website fortydaysofdating.com. It’s about two New Yorkers in the same circle of friends who decide to date each other for 40 days to see if they can fix each other’s relationship issues. She jumps in quickly and is almost instantly committed and monogamous for the long haul. He dates two or three women at a time and always leaves before it gets too serious. In a general sense, this sounds kind of like classic male and female roles. The woman always wants more, but the man is always “needing some oxygen.” (Shout out to you, Common.) However, when you read the nuances of why they do what they do in relationships and their history together as friends, it makes for a pretty interesting past time. Honestly? The second I knew what the premise was, I was totally obsessed with this website for, like, a week. I read every.single.post. And now I get to share my past week’s obsession with you. You’re welcome.
Perception and Conflict (Spoiler Alert… kind of.)
It was really interesting to read what each person was thinking as they were thinking it. The two of them process things so differently. Toward the end I found myself nearly yelling at my lap top:
“No! It’s your fault this is happening, not hers.”
“Wait. Why did you say it like that? No wonder he’s upset.”
“Oh my gosh! You’re getting it all wrong! You guys just need to trade surveys.”
When they’re in conflict, she’ll either be very calm, logical, and direct, or she’ll blow it off all together. He’ll get emotional and show that he’s deeply affected by an issue, but he won’t be willing (or able? … or both?) to say what’s really bothering him. Essentially she likes resolutions without conflict and he likes drama conflicts without resolution. Imagine the fights.
New York City
Ok. First it was movies. Now it’s the internet. Why does everyone make NYC look so stinking fabulous? The dates these people went on! My God! Granted, they are semi rich white people and I am none of the above. But still! I was so jealous.
And Speaking of Semi-Rich (Racist Qualifier Omitted) People
Let me also point out how intimidating these two are. Jessica Walsh is the partner of a design firm. A partner! Her name is in the title! Timothy Goodman is an award winning designer/illustrator/ art director with his own design studio. And I don’t think either of them is even 30 years old. Geez. My life is an insignificant drop in the ocean compared to the waves these two have made in their field. They are really doin’ it big. I mean, clearly I need to step my game up, right? Does anyone need an opinions columnist?
Anyway, I thought it was a highly intriguing project with equally interesting people. And since they’re both designers, the visuals (created by friends and colleagues) were thought provoking as well. Now, I don’t recommend reading every post like I did – Please. Have a life. Seriously. – but it’s definitely worth checking out. More opinions someday soon. Ciao for now.